Lonely or Alone

Tomorrow ends my second week of unemployment and I must say I have been lonely! In the past I have enjoyed “Me Time.” I have gone out to restaurants, movies, the theater…even walks around the city on the other side of the river on my own. Being lonely is another story! My sister and my husband check up on me fairly regularly during the day but there are no other people in the vicinity to interact with. The sound of a television or radio doesn’t cut the mustard. Yes, a person can be lonely in a crowd and even within their own relationships but loneliness due to unemployment is difficult. I truly believe we humans are pack animals and, with the exception of the oddball hermit, we thrive within groups. This is my soapbox philosophy for the day.

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Compliments…

To the long-lost friend who complimented me today regarding my posts, THANK YOU! You have no idea but your words meant so much to me! I have always FELT I could write… My mother encouraged me to start recording my thoughts before she passed. The sister and the hubby picked up her mantle and urged me to put my words to paper. I suppose you could say I have always questioned my talent and word smithing abilities. This pat on the back today felt WONDERFUL! A few others have stated how they appreciated a post here or there or “why haven’t you monetized your blog yet?” The answer to this question…when I figure out how to do so, I will! To know that my idle thoughts, opinions and precious words resounded with another soul left me feeling as though I could FLY!

Respect…

The first amendment of the Constitution of the United States reads thusly:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Our forefathers, for their time, actually had a degree of prescience. Each citizen of the United States is entitled to express his/her opinions of the state of the Union. For those with opposing viewpoints, learn to RESPECT the right of each individual to speak their mind. It doesn’t matter if the citizen has a degree from an Ivy League school, is a janitor, teaches for a living, acts or writes music and sings…we are all citizens of what is currently a free country. By rights of the First Amendment, we are given the opportunity to have our voices heard! I have seen one post recently where a very well known award-winning individual has expressed an opinion on the current situation in Puerto Rico and the President’s response thus far. Others have essentially responded to this person saying, to paraphrase, “You’re only a celebrity. Shut up and stick to what you know!” Both the celebrity and antagonist are citizens of this country and are permitted to voice their thoughts; however, the antagonist is rude and disrespectful and does not look beyond his/her own opinion. Agree to disagree! Don’t deride the other person if their viewpoint differs from yours. If you disagree and have a strong urge to respond via social media, simply state, “I understand what you are saying but I beg to differ.” Proper etiquette is still a strong commodity in this country and the individual who remembers this AND utilizes this knowledge will be held in high esteem within a domain falling apart at the seams.

Venting…

The Land of Lost Items returned with a vengeance this weekend and it has left me physically and emotionally drained! I love the hubby TO BITS but he has never had his head attached to his shoulders when it comes to his belongings! Last week he went out to start his car…nothing happened. The dash lit up…there was power in the battery but the car wouldn’t start. My husband, the most mechanically illiterate individual I know (other than the sister) diagnosed the problem correctly! Somehow the anti theft mechanism on the car had been activated which nullified his key! He had the car towed to the dealership where they reprogrammed the car and issued a new key. Fine and dandy! Friday he announced that he had to go to the bank. It was very hush, hush, secret secret! I finally was able to determine what had happened…he misplaced his check book. Off to the bank he went and returned with a new account and new checks. Yesterday morning the poop hit the fan! The new car key was gone… Poof! It had disappeared! I have been asking him to please leave his keys in the basket in the kitchen for several years but, being the male of the species, he knows best! We turned the house upside down looking for that key without any luck. The Weather Channel could have produced a special on the state of our home! Dejected, he left for work in my car…with his new checkbook. I asked if he was planning on paying bills from work. His response was no but he wanted them on hand. When he returned this morning after his overnight shift, he was FUMING! He claimed someone at work stole his checkbook! I went to look through his work bag and jacket but he yanked each away and said he already looked there. I did what any semi-calm wife would do – I got washed and dressed. I told him to give work a call just in case either item might have made a miraculous appearance. I grabbed my car key and searched every nook and cranny in that vehicle. Nada… He came running out of the house shouting someone at work had found his checkbook and he needed me to drive him back. Okay… I guess he wanted my company? We got into the car, I looked at the gas gauge and I had barely an 1/8 of a tank of gas. He said he’ll give me money when we return home. I informed him I’d like to get gas on our way to his employer. No! I had enough plus a little surplus the car manufacturer adds into the tank. Whatever… Off we go… Before we reach our destination the car indicated that it was FAMISHED! I know we will run out of fuel before we return home. He picked up his checkbook and borrowed $5.00 from a co-worker! We are SAVED! HALLELUJAH! Another key search ensued when we arrived home but this stupid item is very elusive! The hubby still has the old key to his car – it will open the doors but not start the engine. Did I mention that he referees a football league during his free time? He starts moving the football equipment from his trunk to my car and yells to me that I have hidden a bag containing some of the items he needs for the field! WTF?!? I loathe football! Why would I disturb any of that?!? The situation had become surreal and I was on the verge of screaming at him on the street when our neighbor came running up to us and asked if we had checked our mailbox? Why? Because the hubby, in his infinite wisdom, had left his car key in the car door yesterday. When we didn’t answer the house door during Typhoon Pointless Search, she had placed the key in the mailbox! I tend to think she is a good luck charm because the missing football equipment made a miraculous reappearance! Hugs ensued all around! By any chance, does anyone need a gently used hubby, free of charge? He mows lawns, takes out garbage and you will always be on your toes because who knows what he’ll misplace next! Vent over! Where is the sister and a good bottle of wine?!?

Family…

As many of you are aware, family is not simply blood relatives. A family is what you opt to make of it! My grandparents moved into our town in the early 1930’s, where my grandfather set up his medical practice, immediately after their wedding. Within a few years they had made friends within the community but one couple stood out. Another doctor and his wife became their best friends. The relationship was so close that my Mother always referred to them as her Aunt and Uncle! My grandparents, aunt, uncle, their respective families and other friends would escape to Cape Cod at the end of every summer until the children were grown and married…and when my aunt and uncle’s “surprise” made her debut! Yes, they had a “late life” baby and this little girl became my “prototype!” My parents would take her out, learn to care for her and, by the time I made my debut, they still hadn’t figured out parenting! No matter what, we were raised together virtually as sisters. I’m three years younger and I would always be compared to her at school! We took our first “big” trips together – a two week cruise one summer and a six week tour through Scandinavia the following year. She introduced me to Daphne DuMaurier and Carly Simon! She teased me unmercifully about my love for The Beatles! She insisted they were all gay but I stood my ground and said NO! Secretly, I went behind her back and asked my grandfather if The Beatles were a happy group. He asked why and I relayed her information. I don’t think I ever recall my grandfather laughing as hard and loud as he did then! A few years later, she invited me behind the wheel of her car and taught me how to drive! Just before this time, life had become a nightmare for my “sister.” She had been diagnosed with cancer. I wasn’t allowed to see her for quite some time. My notes and phone calls went unanswered. When I finally was able to see her again she was rail-thin but GLOWING! She met her future husband while she was in the hospital. They married three years later. Even though she had told me when they met that she wanted me to be in her bridal party, I was not asked. Disappointment ensued and I unhappily attended the festivities. Several moons passed and I met my hubby-to-be. The hurt from her “snub” had eased over time and I was so hopeful she would attend my wedding! I WANTED her to meet my love. The invitation was declined; silence ensued until FaceBook entered the daily lexicon! We finally reconnected seven years ago…in person! The hug she gave me that day I will NEVER FORGET! So long, so tight, so full of love! I remember the disappointment but it is tempered by the knowledge that I just need to pick up my phone, type a text (she doesn’t enjoy talking on the phone as much as she did when we were younger) and her response will appear fairly quickly! She was a “flower child” who matured into an “earth mother.” I can envision her as Gaia! The cancer from long ago haunts her to this day. The treatments have taken taken a toll on her heart. As it Is Eruv Yom Kippur, whoever is reading this, please say a healing prayer for my sister! Thank You from the bottom of my heart! L’Shana Tovah!

Blue…

  • A robin’s egg
  • The cerulean sky the morning my sister made her debut
  • A newborn’s eyes
  • The dark night sky full of stars
  • The blinking fireflies the summer I went to sleep-away camp
  • The water of the Norwegian fjords
  • The blue crest with the golden crown(s) of the Swedish American Line and Home Lines
  • The azure Caribbean Sea while the hubby and I were on our honeymoon
  • The Blue Grotto in Capri
  • The turquoise houses in Burano
  • The aquamarine waters of the Adriatic Sea off the coast of Dubrovnik
  • The knowledge that friends have made arrangements to get together via social media and I am not included/have been invited as an afterthought
  • Being informed by my long-time employer that my services are no longer required
  • Going on interviews for various positions but not being hired and I am positive it is age-related; however, I cannot verify this
  • The knowledge that I need to sell my sapphire engagement ring to help make ends meet
  • Miscarrying three children
  • Losing Mom

What is blue to you?

Intolerance…

The world seems to be going to hell in a hand basket!

Why, oh why is the United States of America trying to wipe out parts of its history?  The country is only 241 years old and already it is tearing down statues from the Civil War?  Now, before anyone cries “Foul!” on me, I have a differing view point!  A variation on the glass half full/half empty.  Removing the statue of Robert E. Lee was a mistake because, for this country, it is our reminder of NEVER AGAIN!  NEVER AGAIN will one man feel mighty enough that he can own another in this country!  NEVER AGAIN will the country go to war against itself due to part of the population having less melanin in their bodies than the rest!  Those with less pigment ARE NOT superior to the others!  Every single citizen bleeds red!  Why are certain individuals trying to rewrite our history as the Ancient Egyptians did when they tried to erase the reign of Akhenaten?  Briefly he converted his country to monotheism but when he passed, Egypt reinstated the old gods and eradicated cartouches and statues dedicated to the former Pharaoh. More recently, Germany and Poland have acknowledged past atrocities and sites such as Dachau and Auschwitz have remained relatively untouched.  NEVER AGAIN!

For the United States, we remember the name of Henry Ford as one of the preeminent automobile designers and builders in this country.  He was also a well-known anti-Semite whose articles in The Dearborn Independent were lauded in Nazi Germany.  I wonder, wherever his spirit resides, is he aware that automobiles such as the ones he created are now being used as weapons of execution?  Car bombs in Oklahoma City…  Running pedestrians down and murdering them in Nice, London and now Barcelona…  Is he rolling in his grave or jumping with glee?

My mother and my grandmother always instilled in my sister and me to “never carry hatred in our hearts.”  My mother was only 3 years old when World War II broke out in Europe.  She grew up during the time of the German American Bund.  The family of one of her classmates belonged to the Bund and this child would come to school espousing the organization’s doctrines.  He told my mother that Germany was correct in liquidating the Jewish population!  My mother, normally very quiet and reserved as her father was the town’s physician, picked up the largest book that she laid eyes on – surprisingly, a history of the United States of America – and knocked this individual to the ground for history’s sake!  My grandfather was called to school instead of my grandmother and informed of the situation.  Mom’s teacher was surprised by her outburst but stood 100% in her corner!  My grandfather was shocked but proud.  His daughter stood her ground and, even though she resorted to a physical response, she didn’t consider his standing in town but the situation in Europe and how narrow-minded people were reacting to the Jewish population in the United States.  He asked Mom why she did it and her response was simple and direct, “He holds hatred in his heart.”  The current administration, with all its logic and knowledge, would say that both sides were in the wrong.  Luckily for this country, FDR was in office then.  If not, we might have wound up with a leader such as an American Oswald Mosely!

I wish I could say “Never Again…”  Not to sound defeatist but the hatred and deaths will continue until strong leadership takes the reins.

The Land of Lost Items…

My sister likes to tell me every single item in the house has a proper “home” or a place where the item “lives.”  I frequently leave spices tucked away on the counter that I use all the time as well as my measuring spoons which rest in the drainer by the sink.  If the hurricane that is my sister has whipped through the kitchen, you can bet all the marbles that she has placed everything in their proper nooks and crannies!  When it comes time for her belongings or my husband’s, that is a totally different story!  At least two or three times a week, the hubby calls to ask me where his wallet is!  Just last week we drove between our town and the two neighboring ones looking for his wallet.  The thought of cancelling his cards and standing in line at DMV was just too daunting.  I asked him when was the last time he saw the wallet.  In the car was his reply.  We took everything out of the car and NOTHING!  He decided to drive off to the bank to cancel his cards and I would research what he needed for his license.  Surprise!  The hubby called to let me know the vanishing wallet has been found…in a secret cubby in his car that he had forgotten about!  How do you forget about this if YOU PLACED THE WALLET IN THERE?!?  Over the weekend he called from work asking if I had seen his hearing aids.  My query – why aren’t they in your ears?  He told me he had forgotten to put them in after his shower…  He didn’t remember to put them back in their box on his night table.  Where were they?  On top of his DVD rack!  WTF!  This morning’s phone call concerned his house and car keys.  He misplaced them.  The last place I had seen these were by the stove.  He looked and no such luck!  I thought that was odd because I intentionally didn’t touch them!  Lo and behold, Hurricane Sister had swept through and placed them in the basket with my keys!  Onto the sister!  Where oh where are her reading glasses?  I collected all her eyeglass cases and left them in the kitchen on the shelf with mine along with the house keys.  I even located all three pairs and matched them to the corresponding case. All the cases are EMPTY!  I found one pair in the bathroom and another tucked between the cushions on the couch.  The third pair, a Tiffany blue, is totally MIA!  Will these be found before her next business trip at the end of the week?  Only the elves who sneak off with our belongings know!  To quote my sister’s BFF, “Saint Anthony, something has been lost that can’t be found…”  He actually responded!  “Yes, I know!  Their minds!”