The Land of Lost Items…

My sister likes to tell me every single item in the house has a proper “home” or a place where the item “lives.”  I frequently leave spices tucked away on the counter that I use all the time as well as my measuring spoons which rest in the drainer by the sink.  If the hurricane that is my sister has whipped through the kitchen, you can bet all the marbles that she has placed everything in their proper nooks and crannies!  When it comes time for her belongings or my husband’s, that is a totally different story!  At least two or three times a week, the hubby calls to ask me where his wallet is!  Just last week we drove between our town and the two neighboring ones looking for his wallet.  The thought of cancelling his cards and standing in line at DMV was just too daunting.  I asked him when was the last time he saw the wallet.  In the car was his reply.  We took everything out of the car and NOTHING!  He decided to drive off to the bank to cancel his cards and I would research what he needed for his license.  Surprise!  The hubby called to let me know the vanishing wallet has been found…in a secret cubby in his car that he had forgotten about!  How do you forget about this if YOU PLACED THE WALLET IN THERE?!?  Over the weekend he called from work asking if I had seen his hearing aids.  My query – why aren’t they in your ears?  He told me he had forgotten to put them in after his shower…  He didn’t remember to put them back in their box on his night table.  Where were they?  On top of his DVD rack!  WTF!  This morning’s phone call concerned his house and car keys.  He misplaced them.  The last place I had seen these were by the stove.  He looked and no such luck!  I thought that was odd because I intentionally didn’t touch them!  Lo and behold, Hurricane Sister had swept through and placed them in the basket with my keys!  Onto the sister!  Where oh where are her reading glasses?  I collected all her eyeglass cases and left them in the kitchen on the shelf with mine along with the house keys.  I even located all three pairs and matched them to the corresponding case. All the cases are EMPTY!  I found one pair in the bathroom and another tucked between the cushions on the couch.  The third pair, a Tiffany blue, is totally MIA!  Will these be found before her next business trip at the end of the week?  Only the elves who sneak off with our belongings know!  To quote my sister’s BFF, “Saint Anthony, something has been lost that can’t be found…”  He actually responded!  “Yes, I know!  Their minds!”