I remember being on vacation with my family one Summer. Our Mother and Father decided a stop in Toronto would be a good idea and the Sister and I would benefit from a visit to the Science Center. Well, after a day of planetary explorations, botany and shockingly silent rooms, we found ourselves in the York section of the city, heading for a bite for dinner. As usual I was lagging behind, taking pictures that would languish in a big bag in my bedroom, waiting for the time when I would sort them into photo albums. The Mother and Sister walked ahead with the Father following in their wake. Looking through the camera’s view finder, I saw a disembodied hand reach for the Mother’s backside! The Father reacted quickly and grabbed the unknown would-be assailant’s hand, pushed him away from his Wife and yelled while giving him the Hungarian Handshake – a threatening fist pump perfected by his Hungarian Grandmother-in-law! Our Mother was a beautiful woman but, at that time in her life, she was mildly zaftig! Why would some stranger want to pinch her tush? Fast forward several moons and the female of the species is not happy with her posterior unless she can balance a serving tray upon it! I do not need to mention those in the so-called “entertainment” industry who have perpetuated this fad. They shall remain nameless to prevent blowing up their egos more than they currently are! On the flip side, the men are sporting tinier and more well-constructed cabooses that they are more than happy to encase in the tightest fitting material in the fashion world! When they move, you cannot help but admire the properly-maintained male anatomy! I do believe they get a quirky joy being ogled but I wonder…do they chafe in such terribly tight pants? Is the tush real or assisted by Spanx?


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