Me Too…

Two words that have been seen a great deal on social media since the Harvey Weinstein expose was released. In the weeks that have followed, we have seen the likes of Kevin Spacey, Jeremy Piven, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer and Garrison Keillor lose their jobs due to sexual misconduct allegations. On social media I have noticed many references by individuals of both sexes stating that the complainants are looking for their fifteen minutes of fame or they willingly placed aside their principles in order to get ahead in their careers. The company that I formerly worked for has a zero-tolerance attitude to sexual harassment. If someone is reported to management and HR, the offending employee is terminated. So many people are arguing that the “harassers” are pronounced guilty before proof has been offered. When it comes to sexual harassment or molestation how is this proven? It is one individual’s word against another. Unless the victim was raped and had the “strength” to go to the authorities, had a rape kit processed and a great support system, nine times out of ten it will remain word against word. Me too… I was barely a young lady when my life tipped end over end. Two people I trusted decided I was an object to be “played with” for their own enjoyment. One I gave a black eye; the other’s “little brain” wound up being very sore. The first one made sure that no one in my family spoke to me for about three months; the other said if I told my parents, I would be sent away for lying. No one but he wanted me as it was. No one was talking to me…I was basically alone. I couldn’t comprehend what was going on in my life so I compartmentalized. At the time I needed to face what had happened, I sought the best advisor I knew…my grandfather. For several months he helped me come to grips with my life and then he passed away! For the longest time I thought my revelation had killed him! I told two others after that…my BFF (at the time) and my childhood sweetheart who was also one of my closest friends and advisor. Shortly after my BFF informed me I was “depressing” and she walked out of my life. A few months later so did my sweetheart. I told myself it was due to the fact that I was damaged goods. I remained quiet for several years. I worried my Mother so very much. I couldn’t bear to see her fretting over me. I finally blurted everything out to her, told her I would leave since I was such a disappointment plus she didn’t need someone “dirty” like me in her family. My Mom held me in a big bear hug. Cleansing tears broke forth that night. The healing process, which continues to this day, began. The Sister has been such a wall of strength for me! She sometimes believes that I am angry at her for not being taken advantage of but she is so very wrong! In the past, whenever I noticed she was being eyed the way I had been, I sent her away…out of the room, out of the building. No one would touch her! NEVER! I finally healed enough to attempt trust in a relationship. The Hubby and I met several moons ago. One week after we started seeing each other, I wrote him a LONG note stating why we should discontinue our relationship. I viewed myself as being unworthy and most undesirable. He read the note twice, ripped it up in front of me and buried the pieces in the dirt. “I’m in it for the long haul and NO ONE will ever hurt you again,” Home…this is my home. For those of you asking why didn’t I follow through legally, the statute of limitations had expired. I did see an attorney. My statement was taken and notarized but it was word against word. I am patient and I know Karma has worked her magic over the years. Do not prejudge those currently in the news unless you know the full story or have walked a similar path. They are on a healing quest.

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