Fear…

“I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.”

Bene-Gesserit Litany against Fear from Frank Herbert’s Dune

Fear…we all experience it.  There is some aspect within our lives that leaves us frightened and maybe even trembling.  Me?  I’m frightened of critters aka insects especially spiders, heavy winds, blackouts…and rejection.  In the past, my sister and I were rejected by extended family.  We grew up in a very small, insular familial group and currently have very few close blood-relatives.  Several moons ago, I was rejected by someone I loved very deeply.  I couldn’t place one foot in front of the other for several years until I was ready.  The new path lead me to my husband!  Most recently I was rejected by my long-term employer.  I provided 16 years of loyal, unwavering service to this company all for what?  A severance package not equal to the number of years I worked and a verbal promise of a good reference.  I FEAR!  I fear being unable to find new employment.  I fear finding a new position.  I fear starting all over.  I fear TRUSTING a new employer and remaining loyal to a company that may choose to reject me as soon as an acceptance letter is drafted.  I FEAR!  Fear is not logical; it is emotional.  I know I need to move past this point and walk into my future.  This isn’t easy to accomplish but I KNOW I must do this!  Fifteen months is long enough!  I will face my fear and only I will remain!

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